Guilt
by Igiveup
Summary: Gene's thoughts during the finale, third person narration to be safe.


**_Okay, this is going to be interesting. I've never written for Gene Hunt before. To be on the safe side, I'm using third person narration. If I totally screw up, you are welcome to come over to my house and stomp on all my toys. Obviously these characters do not belong to me._**

* * *

At first, all the four of them could do was just stand there in shock at Alex Drake who was lying on the ground, blood oozing through her fingers from the bullet wound inflicted by none other than Gene Hunt.

It was Chris who broke the spell first, rushing to Alex's side. He tore off his shirt and pressed it against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Shaz knelt down beside him, trying to get a reaction from Alex. She either didn't notice or didn't care that her wedding dress was now stained with dirt and Alex's blood. Ray ran off to radio for an ambulance. Only Gene remained where he was, smoking gun still in hand, standing stock still as if he'd taken root. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse, "Bolly..."

He hadn't meant to shoot her! It was an accident.

_"If you stand in my way I swear to God I will kill you!"_

How many people heard him make that threat? How many would be convinced he had carried it out?

He was angry when he said that! He thought she had been planning on betraying him. He wouldn't really have done it. Even after hearing what she had said on that tape. Same way he couldn't bring himself to strike Chris after his betrayal. He still cared too much for them to let his anger take over completely.

As betrayed as Gene felt(and he was justified in his feelings) he never would have really hurt her. Besides, lots of people make threats when they're angry. But most people also don't carry those threats out, even by accident.

He couldn't stay there for too much longer. They'd have him arrested for murder---_attempted _murder, Gene corrected himself. Alex wasn't dead yet. Of course, running away didn't exactly help him look innocent either.

Alex knew it was an accident. She'd tell them, right? She would, she had to.

But Alex remained motionless on the pavement, unresponsive to Chris, Shaz, and the paramedics who had finally arrived.

Gene drove to the hospital in the Quattro. If Alex didn't wake up soon, he would have to run. He didn't want to go to jail.

"Selfish bastard," he told himself. "Bolly might die an' all you care about is your own sorry hide."

Chris and Shaz were in the waiting room, still looking shocked. Blood, Alex's blood, stained their clothes and hands. There was no sign of Ray.

"She's in a coma, guv. God only knows when she'll come out of it, if at all."

"You know it was an accident, right? You know I didn't mean to..." Gene's voice trailed off. _Come on, Chris, I gave you a second chance. You owe me._

"I guess so, guv," Shaz said finally. "But it doesn't really matter what we think, does it? It's what the evidence says."

It did matter to Gene what his friends thought. He tried to catch Chris' eye, but the younger man wouldn't look at him. Chris had betrayed the team, but he had set things right. Still didn't give him the right to put on airs, though.

Or maybe he wasn't putting on airs at all. Neither he nor Shaz made any move to arrest Gene.

"She's allowed visitors, if you want to see her," Chris said finally. Gene didn't know why Chris and Shaz weren't acting like proper police officers and putting him in cuffs. Maybe they were too much in shock. Not very professional, but they were still pretty young.

Gene's mind flashed back to another case, back in 1973. He had been accused of murder, and the evidence certainly pointed to him being the guilty party. Chris and Ray had chased Gene down like a criminal. Sam Tyler had been willing to give Gene a benefit of a doubt, and in so doing, proved his innocence.

No Sam around to save him this time. And in this instance, it wasn't a matter of whether or not he had done it, but the intent. Alex was the only one who could save Gene now. But she wasn't talking, might never talk again.

_"First Sam Tyler, now you. Why do I always attract the liars and the weirdos?"_

Alex reminded Gene a lot of Sam. Probably because she started talking about him almost the moment Gene met her. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about his old friend, except the things she said about him were so bizarre that normal conversation was impossible.

_"Sam got messages from the television."_

_"Sam always said what amazed him most about this place was how real it was."_

After that line, she had put her hand over Gene's chest, and was genuinely surprised to find a heartbeat. One of the only normal things she ever said about Sam during that first meeting was that she had been his doctor.

It made Gene wonder, had Sam driven her mad, or was it the other way around? Neither one would surprise him much. At least they were still able to do their jobs, and quite well, too, despite their bizarre behaviour half the time.

There were other similarities to Sam as well. Something just slightly off about the language, even if it was English. The way they would suddenly get a faraway look in their eyes as if their minds were somewhere else.

Maybe it was that similarity that had made Gene interested in her. Had made him want to protect her instead of taking advantage of her. If she stayed on the team long enough, she'd become more normal. Worked with Sam. It almost worked with her.

Even now there were similarities. Tyler had nearly betrayed the team, but in the end couldn't go through with it. On her tape Alex wondered if she should betray the team---and had clearly decided not to.

Soon there might be another similarity... both of them would be dead.

Gene shook his head, trying to clear it as he entered Alex's room. She looked a hell of a lot better than she had in the street. They had gotten her cleaned up, and Gene could almost convince himself that she was just sleeping. Almost.

"Bolly," he said finally. "You've got to wake up. They think I shot you. Well, I _did _shoot you, but..." He started to get frantic, desperate for her to hear him and respond.

If one is on the run from the police, it is usually not a good idea to begin screaming at the top of your lungs to a coma patient, especially if _you _were the one who put them in that coma. It's the thought that crosses Gene's mind as Chris and Shaz run into the room, begging him to hush.

He can see it in their eyes. They think he's being selfish, thinking only of himself.

They were wrong, but Gene couldn't tell them that. Even with Alex so close to death, he can't bring himself to say how sorry he is, how much he wants things between them to go back to the way they were before. That he knows Alex's mind had changed from when she had made that recording. That she had chosen to trust him, consider him a friend.

He still didn't understand why she had insisted that she was from the future, but he got the impression that _she _believed what she was saying. Maybe that was why she never contacted her daughter. Husband must have convinced the judge that she was too cracked to be a good mother, and had contact forbidden. Now she might never see her daughter again because of him.

All of these feeling were there. They were raw and real. But Gene couldn't give voice to them. All he could manage was to return to the nickname he had given her.

"Bolly..."

In that one word was all of the guilt, regret, and forgiveness that he felt. If Alex could hear him, she would understand.


End file.
